How Two Parents Can Keep One Family Calendar Up to Date
Keep one calendar that both parents can edit, and let each parent add the plans that reach them. When a time changes, update the saved plan instead of sending the new time round in messages. Briefly gives you that shared calendar: either parent can add or change a plan, by hand or from a notice, and both parents see the update.
One lesson moves. Both parents need the updated time. If the change lives in one parent's message thread, the other parent learns about it at pickup. If it lives in the one calendar both parents use, there is one event to change and one place to look.
Start with the plans that reach each parent
Notices and messages do not all land in the same inbox. Here is a made-up week:
| Plan | Who hears first | How it reaches the calendar |
|---|---|---|
| School camp notice | Mum | Mum uploads it and approves the dates |
| Swimming lesson time | Dad | Dad adds it by hand |
| Dentist visit for Ben | Whoever books it | Added by hand for Ben |
| Parent-teacher meeting | Mum | Added by hand for Mum |
The rule is short: whoever hears first adds it. Neither parent has to relay what they heard, and neither has to read the other's messages to find out what changed.
Agree three small things
- What goes on it. Anything that changes who must be where or what must be done: school dates, activities, appointments, forms and deadlines.
- Who each plan is for. Pick a child or a parent for every event. Each parent can then filter to the plans that matter to them.
- How a change is made. Edit the saved plan. Do not add a second one beside it.
That is the whole agreement. There is no weekly planning meeting to hold.
Invite the other parent once there is something to see
An empty calendar is a weak invitation. A calendar with this week's real plans on it is a better one.
- Add a real week first. Put in your own plans and the next few school and activity dates.
- Start with what they care about. Their own appointments and the activities they drive to are the plans they will look for first.
- Send the invitation from Settings. You can send it by email or share a link. An invitation expires after seven days, so send it when they can answer.
- Let them choose how to follow. They can add plans themselves, subscribe to the calendar in their own calendar app, or read the Saturday Weekly Family Brief if they have it turned on.
Software cannot make a partner check a calendar. If the other parent prefers to read messages, you can keep adding plans yourself. The calendar is still there when they need to look.
When a time changes
Say Ben's swimming lesson moves from 4:30pm to 5:15pm.
- The change arrives by message. Open the saved event and change the time. Both parents now see the new time on the same event, so nobody holds an old copy.
- A new notice arrives. Upload it. Briefly compares it with the events you already saved. If it finds a likely match, it shows what changed. You choose to update the saved event or keep the notice as a separate event, so a duplicate does not appear by accident.
- The lesson is cancelled. Delete the event. It leaves the shared calendar for both parents.
A new time can also create an overlap. If the changed event now overlaps another plan for Ben, or for the parent it is assigned to, Briefly flags both events.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can both parents add and edit plans in Briefly?
Yes. Either parent in the household can add, edit and delete plans, and both parents see the approved events on the same calendar.
What happens to a notice I upload before I approve it?
It waits in your review list. Nothing from the notice joins the shared calendar until you approve it. After that, both parents see the approved plans.
Who gets the Weekly Family Brief?
Each person in the household who has the brief turned on gets their own copy. It is sent at 10am on Saturday in the household time zone and covers the coming week. If that week has nothing in it, no email is sent. You can turn it off in Settings.
Put this week's plans where both parents can check them.
Create a free account, add your children and a few plans, then invite the other parent from Settings. Free during beta. No credit card.
Create your family calendarRelated Reading
- How to Share a Family Calendar With a Co-Parent covers sharing a Google or iCloud calendar instead.
- What Is a Smart Shared Family Calendar? explains what the calendar knows about each plan.
- Digital Family Organizer: Keep Everyone's Plans in One Place shows a mixed family week.
- Turn School Newsletters Into Calendar Events covers the notice workflow in detail.